A crash from the other side of the house wakes me. I jump out of bed wondering if there’s an intruder. At this time of the morning (and groggy from my whole 15 minutes of sleep) I must imagine that I have some kind of super powers because I go to check the security of my house in bare feet and pajamas, with no weapon or defense mechanism of any kind.
Exhibit A: My Desk (as Discovered During my 3:00 AM Safety Patrol):
I’m not particularly happy with this since, as I mentioned, I have a book due in mere hours. I’m nearly there … almost ready to send it off to my editor, but there’s still some work to do.
Exhibit B: The Former Contents of my Desk:
There is only one suspect. At the time of the incident, the dog was curled up in the curve of my legs and my daughter was so sound asleep she didn’t even hear the crash. The suspect was observed running out of the office as I went stumbling toward it:
The Mug Shot:
The suspect was observed earlier in the day jumping onto the desk to explore. During intense questioning, she has maintained her absolute innocence and tried to prove it by licking the dog.
I’m not sure I believe her, but I don’t have time to question her further. What do you think? Guilty or innocent?